You are the company you keep

The wrong people will convince you that wanting more is something to be ashamed of. Here’s why I say this:

In college, after scoring among the highest in my semester, a group I used to call friends walked into my hostel room and spent an hour calling me a nerd and laughing at me.

I don't call them friends anymore. In fact, I haven’t seen or spoken to them since I graduated college.

I've had the pleasure of genuinely great company and the displeasure of really poor ones.

The difference changes the way you think, what you choose to share, and what you keep to yourself. When I was around the wrong people, I'd shy away from showing things I'd worked hard on. Anything that made me different felt like a liability.

Later, someone I deeply respect said this: "You are the company you keep."

Since then, I've actively sought out groups and individuals that make me uncomfortable - people who make me feel like I still have a long way to go.

And that feeling, rather than being discouraging, makes me want to do more.

Because everyone around me is pushing the boundaries of what's possible and challenging things the rest of the world just accepts as standard.

Great company makes a world of difference in another way too.

You're excited to share something with them.

You're excited to show progress, because they'll also keep you honest. They'll hold you accountable if the work isn't good enough.

Their standards are high. Which is exactly what you want.

What I've also begun to understand over the last year or so is that you don't need just one circle. You can have many micro-circles, each serving a different purpose.

For tennis, I have people around me who play at a level I'm still chasing.

Every time I think I've made a step forward, they turn the wick up. There's always something they can share - a piece of advice, an insight - that's both valuable and immediately actionable.

A different circle for running, where I'm a complete newbie.

A different circle for intellectual conversations.

A different circle to just talk about life.

Each one serves a purpose and each person in them helps me get a little better, every single day.